It's a perpetual game that I never seem to win. I feel that I am at a loss because I have no brothers. I know everyone says they (boys, yes boys, not men, hey, I don't consider myself a woman, so they are not yet men) are simple creatures and that my overanalyzing of the opposite sex is way overboard, but I can't help it. I'm a girl. Reading into things has always been a problem for me. In the back of my head I know, I know that I'm being dramatic, but part of me doesn't care. If the boy that I happen to be "crushing" on even says hi to me, or looks at me, I think it means something. That's right. It's like I lose all rational thinking. If I am even slightly attracted to a guy, I immediately begin overanalyzing, reading into nothing, turning his actions into flirtatious advances towards me. I suppose there is part of me that knows I am making all of this up in my head, but there is a larger part that tries to believe that he is interested and this is where I get in trouble. I begin telling myself that these "advances" (that I most likely have made up in my head) mean something. I do this so much that I begin to believe the random ideas that I ficticiously made up to rationalize my attractions. Then my emotions get involved and I begin to have such tangible feelings that it is no longer a crush and now it's going to be quite a feat to get over this guy. Why I allowed myself to get in so deep? Who knows. Usually I continue to like this guy until another guy comes along, then it all starts over again and I'm right back where I started...Like I said, its perpetual.
Really, I'm not complaining. I'm rather content and know that the Lord will bring Mr. Right along at the right time, and I must be patient till then. I just wanted to rant, so there you have it, my first rant for 2006.
Super Duper: No school tomorrow, I don't start back till next week.
Super Pooper: My first full work week in 4 weeks.
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