We (Christ-followers) say that we want to be in the center of God's will for our lives. I can genuinely say that I do...at least I think I do. As long as His will for me is comfortable or easy, or lines up with what I want His will for my life to be...messed up, I know. But its how I feel sometimes. Am I really willing to take that step of faith that my not be what I had in mind?
I mean, I sing songs like "I surrender all" or "Here am I, send me" but I wonder if I really mean "I surrender most" or "Here am I, don't send me too far."
I often tell myself that He has given me certain desires and passions, and surely those must line up with what He has in store for me. I really do think this may be true...hard to tell though. Because I don't think following Christ is meant to be easy, which is what makes it so hard to tell sometimes.
So here comes the tricky part. In my heart of hearts, I know that my prayer should be that if my desires and wants don't line up with His will for my life, that He would take those desires away. But to be 100% transparent, I don't want him to.
Maybe I'll get there some day, where I can pray for that, but for now, I'll just keep praying that I am sensitive to His hand in my life and willing to accept the call...whatever it may be.
Super Duper: no more Monday morning class!!!
Super Pooper: they still haven't posted my grades for this semester!
3 comments :
I'm not sure that the answer is for God to take away desires that he isn't fulfilling right now. Sometimes I think that he means for us to live with those things, the 'thorn in the flesh' if you will - not to cause us pain - but to cause us to fully depend on him and submit to him and CHOOSE him even over the things that war with our hearts. I know that's not an easy thing, but just as you said, following Jesus is not easy... but it is worth it, and something tells me that if God doesn't take the desires away, but instead allows you to live with them and yet still you choose to trust and hope in God - you will KNOW with greater certainty and clarity the GREAT WORTH of Jesus... so keep on yearning for things yet to come, trusting the Provision before you. =o)
I'm not sure anyone who is being honest with themselves can say that they are 100% open to whatever God has in store for them, even though that is the attitude we should all be working towards. I appreciate the fact that you are honest about it, because I'm pretty sure most Christians are really thinking "I surrender most" as well.
I think we all want to follow God, but we want it done our way. It's part of the war with the flesh that comes with being human. As far as the desires go, I think God purposely doesn't fill all of them. If he did, we'd be content to stay on earth, not yearn for heaven.
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